As a typical Latina, it is easy to get caught up in taking care of others. Many times our role as a mother, sister, daughter, girlfriend or fiance turns into a job where we put the needs of others in front of our own. I was taught that this is the definition of love. I’m not sure where this started or how it managed to reinforce itself into a daily habit, but I spoil all those around me. It wasn’t until a close friend of mine told me that I need to stop. I was so busy trying to accomodate for others and make their lives easier that I was running myself into the ground and giving up what I wanted for others.
It’s time to stop constantly taking care of others. As Latina women, we are a strong and independent culture. When I think about my abuelita, she was one of the most inspirational women I had ever met. Her life was difficult. She was forced to do many things on her own, but she taught me to harness my independent spirit and spread my wings. She taught me to never rely on someone else. It’s not until I realized how often I was serving others that I realized I was giving too much of myself; time, effort, emotional support. I couldn’t keep everything up at this pace after sacrificing so much of myself.
I believe in being independent. I also believe we as Latinas should be a little selfish. I believe in loving family and friends and supporting them, but I strongly believe that there is a time to take a step back and allow their own talents to flourish. Think fight or flight. Give your loved ones the opportunity to solve their issues and be independent. Abuelita didn’t teach me this lesson just to be forgotten the moment someone wanted something! I should be encouraging others to spread their wings as well.
This all applies to health too. I neglect myself and my own needs when I am so focused on caring for others. If I want to run, I have the freedom to run. If I want to do yoga before bed, I can do it! I want to take time every day to care for myself and make sure I am at a good place with my life, thoughts, worries and needs. I don’t need to solve everyone’s problems. That dinner party doesn’t need another appetizer or dessert from scratch. And as sure as the sky is blue, I don’t need to dedicate my whole life to others.
Repeat after me, “I will learn to say no when I feel overwhelmed. I will say yes to myself today. I will make decisions based on my happiness and I will do what is right for me and my body.”
Find your happy place. Seek your truth. Share your time with others, but always save time for yourself.
